Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
