he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
