I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
