Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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