I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
