Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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