I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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