I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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