hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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