I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
