May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
