will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
