So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
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