Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
