The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
