Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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