This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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