please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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