weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
