Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
