I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
