I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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