No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
