Please don't use social media to get back at me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
