I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
