i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
