ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
