Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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