when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
