is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
