I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
