Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
