Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's shark week go big or go home
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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