I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
