so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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