So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
