rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
