he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Drunk walkin through police station. America
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
