My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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