Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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