it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
