like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
