why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
soo... how was my night?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
