I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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