Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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