So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There's always time for handjobs
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
