I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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