Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize