I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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