your room smells of hookers.
And success
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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