I look better un-naked...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
