Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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