I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
