genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
