I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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