we need to drink 2009 down the drain
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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