This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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