sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
