I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
