ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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