So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i out mim tonsoeep
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